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How to Prevent Adolescent Bullying

Submitted by Kaynaz on Monday Jan 17, 2011 and viewed 109 times
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Adolescent or childhood bullying involves intended hurtful behavior plus an imbalance of power between the victim and the stagger that makes it hard for the victim to guard herself. Bullying is often repeated over time, but sometimes a single severe incident can qualify.
Adolescent Bullying


Adolescent or childhood bullying involves  intended hurtful behavior plus an imbalance of power between the victim and the  stagger that makes it hard for the victim to  guard herself. Bullying is often repeated over time, but sometimes a single severe incident can qualify.


When we think of bullying, most of us  visualize a big kid beating up a little kid. However, bullying can also involve threats, vicious teasing and name-calling, or constantly  banish  someone. Both girls and boys can bully, although girls are more likely to do it in a nonphysical way.


It is sometimes hard to draw the line between ordinary  meanness and bullying. Not every  shuffle  or unkind remark constitutes bullying. All children get teased or taunted. At some point most children will have to cope  the sting of being rejected or  omitted  from a group. Many children get involved in an  infrequent  angry shoving match or in wrestling play that gets out of hand. Sporadic  incidents like these can be very upsetting for children and parents, but they don't have the devastating long-term consequences  for both the victim and the  tormentor that bullying does.


Bullying is more than meanness; it's peer  assault. Bullying involves a pattern of systematic, targeted intimidation and harassment. If the victim regularly feels frightened, threatened, or humiliated rather than occasionally mad or embarrassed, it is probably bullying. If the aggression is frequent,  serious , or enduring, it is bullying.


It's tempting  to blame bullying completely on the aggressive child. Cruel behavior certainly shouldn't be excused or  put up with . But research observations of pairs of children playing games show that both vulnerable and intimidating children contribute encourage | promote to the pattern of bullying. These children bring out the worst in each other. When bullies and victims are paired, they each play their classic domineering  and submissive roles. Bullies act bossy and reject victims' suggestions, while victims passively comply  with bullies' orders. However, when bullies and victims are paired with other children, they behave in less stereotypical  ways. Bullies are less likely to  controvert their partners' ideas, and victims are more likely to assertively ask for help or explanations.


As parents, seeing a blow to our child  touches  at our heart. Sometimes it brings out the mother lioness in us, and we feel a  tremendous desire to  guard our child against the "mean kid" Sometimes it keeps us up at night, worrying about how our child is suffering . Sometimes our child gets over the hurt faster  than we do. Most kids are  spirited  enough to handle occasional  happenings that make them feel embarrassed or upset, but being regularly  frightened and humiliated can leave lifelong scars. So, although we don't want to overreact to every little slight our child receives, we must not  decrease the pain of being bullied.


If bullying becomes a problem in your family life, don't hesitate to seek the counsel of a therapist / psychologist in order to obtain behavior modification tools to deal with the problem.
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About the author
Kaynaz Nasseri is a Psychotherapist specializing in individual, couple, and family therapy with over 10 years experience. Kaynaz specializes in psychological assessment, treatment, and therapy services for children, adolescents as well as adults.Kaynaz's clinical psychology practice is located in Newport Beach, but she helps patients that visit her from all of Southern California, including Orange County, San Diego, and Los Angeles.
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